What If
by MessieJo
Summary: A little AU story about what might have happened had Rayna gone on the little Rayna&Deacon tour back in Season One...


**A/N: HEY Y'ALL! OKAY SO I WAS HAVING MY OWN LITTLE NASHVILLE MARATHON THE OTHER DAY AND WHILE WATCHING THE FIRST FEW EPISODES, I GOT TO THINKING...WHAT IF RAYNA ****HAD**** GONE OUT ON THE LITTLE TOUR WITH DEACON WAY, WAYYYY BACK IN SEASON ONE? THUS...THE TITLE. I HADN'T REALLY SEEN ANY FICS GO THIS ROUTE, SO I THOUGHT IT'D BE A FUN LITTLE STORY TO TRY OUT. :-) ANY-WHO...SO THIS WILL PROBABLY BE A LIGHT, LITTLE MULTI-CHAPTER FIC THAT MY IMAGINATION COMES UP WITH TO TRY AND FILL THE VOID UNTIL SEASON THREE STARTS UP. HOPE Y'ALL LIKE IT AND PRETTY PLEASE BE SO KIND AS TO REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. THANKS! xoxoMESSIEJO**

* * *

**CHAPTER ONE: "WHAT WAS I THINKING?!"**

All Rayna could think as she sat in the passenger seat with Teddy driving and the girls in the backseat—en route to Sound Check where the tour bus she was about to call home and share with Deacon for the next six weeks was waiting for her—was _oh my god, what in the hell was I thinking agreeing to do this tour_? She glanced at Teddy, whom she knew wasn't at all thrilled about the tour but had-albeit grudgingly-agreed that it was necessary. After he'd admitted his role in the whole Cumberland Real Estate debacle, she understood why getting a loan against the house was out of the question. And there was no way in hell she was going to accept a cent from her father, not after the terms he'd listed with his offer of a loan and the way he'd threatened her with the secret about Maddie's paternity. Hell no. She'd rather beg in the streets for pennies than accept a dime from him.

Instead, here she was, about to head off on a tour with the man that at the very heart of it all, was in-part, the reason for her already rocky marriage with Teddy…Deacon. She knew she didn't really have a choice. Teddy had really messed up with the embezzling and her career was struggling. They needed the money if they were going to continue living the way they were used to, and there was no way she was going to sacrifice what was left of her hard-earned career—or her pride, for that matter—by becoming the opening act for Miss Sparkly Pants Juliette Barnes, as Marshall Evans and the label had suggested she do. Hell to the no. **_That_** wasn't happening. Never would she have thought that between the two, going on tour with Deacon would be the lesser of the two evils…but here she was. About to do just that.

It probably didn't help that as they pulled into the back lot behind Sound Check, Deacon was just arriving as well. She heard Teddy's soft curse under his breath as they pulled into a space a few ones down from Deacon, who was grabbing his bags from the backseat of his truck and starting towards the tour bus.

"Oh hey, there's Uncle Deacon," Maddie exclaimed happily from the back seat with Daphne chiming in a moment later with, "Mom, can we go say hi?"

Rayna closed her eyes and inwardly groaned at the question, sighing heavily before she opened her eyes and turned towards Teddy. He had turned away and was looking out the window, his mouth set in a firm line that told her everything she needed to know about what he thought of _that_ idea. Forcing a thin smile, she turned back to the girls, shaking her head. "Not today. We're on a really tight schedule and you girls still have to get to school, so I'll tell him you both say hello, okay?"

They nodded solemnly, the light slowly flickering out of their eyes as they remembered where they were and the reason for being there. She hated that part…leaving the girls. It was only six weeks, but to them—and to her—it always felt like longer. She wished she could bring them along with her—like she'd done when they were little—but she knew it was impossible. They had school and soccer practices and dance classes…not to mention, Teddy would never allow it. They'd had that discussion years ago when Daphne had begun school and both had agreed that the girls needed the stability of being at home while they were in school, not being out on a tour bus for months at a time.

She waited until Deacon got on the bus before opening her door and getting out, the girls and Teddy doing the same. Teddy grabbed her bags from the back and carried them towards the bus, setting them on the ground to be packed up by the driver, and then walked back over to stand by her and the girls.

The goodbyes were hard. Daphne cried and hugged her so hard that she thought she'd never let go. Maddie of course, had remained stoic—acting so grown-up for her thirteen years that it tugged at Rayna's heartstrings—but had held tight when Rayna had hugged her as well, so Rayna knew she wasn't as unaffected as she appeared. Teddy hugged her briefly before giving her a dutiful kiss that she knew was for appearance's sake and nothing more. She could feel the tension emanating from him in waves when he'd embraced her.

In that moment, she knew that if her marriage survived the duration of this tour, it'd be an absolute miracle. For a moment, she considered changing her mind…but it was too late for that. The venues and dates were set. The contracts had been signed. She'd made a commitment and Rayna Jaymes didn't just back out of her commitments. She just didn't. It wasn't in her to go back on her word, or to disappoint her fans. The tour was happening, like it or not.

After a few more minutes of tearful goodbyes and promises to call and Skype constantly, she hugged the girls one last time before Teddy led them back to the car. She watched and waited until they left before turning to board the bus. She kept her eyes downcast as she climbed the stairs, glancing briefly at Deacon, who was standing at the front of the bus, talking to the driver.

"Hey Ray," he said, his expression softening when he saw the tears in her eyes. He just nodded, knowing how hard it was for her to leave the girls to go out on a tour, and knowing that she wasn't going to be in a talking mood any time soon. After all, they'd been on enough tours together over the years for him to know. Though she tried not to let it, the fact that he knew her so well, it irked her. "If you need anything…" he put out there, his hand reaching for hers and squeezing it briefly before letting it go.

"Thanks. I'm gonna go um, settle in…" she said quietly as she nodded and then continued towards the back of the bus to the bedroom where she'd be sleeping. On her way, she passed the bunk where Deacon's bags were sitting atop that he'd claimed as his. Continuing into the room, she closed the door firmly behind her, dropped her bags on the floor, and sat down on the bed with a heavy sigh. Looking around the room, she knew she should feel lucky. The room was decent sized and decked out with all the finest luxuries a tour bus could afford. It was a far cry from the likes of the ones she and Deacon had shared back in the early days, that was for sure.

Usually, this was the part where she felt the beginning burn of excitement and adrenaline. But as the bus started up and pulled away from the lot, she instead felt the burn of the tears welling up in her eyes. As they fell, unchecked, down her face, she put her head in her hands and sobbed.

And thought _Oh_ _God,_ _what have I done?_

* * *

**_A/N: Sorry for the really short chapter, but I just wanted to get a feel for what you guys think about this story…boring, over it...basically, should I go ahead with it, or not? Please review and let me know what you think! THANKS! _**


End file.
